Citadel for the Broken

Yeah, I just thought that I'd update. It will now be my goal to update at least twice a month... Well, grades came back and they weren't as bad as I thought they might be and was relieved to say the least. However not long after I found out my good news, I was pulled over for speeding at 12:30 in the morning. My mother upon finding this out was not pleased to say the least but she got over it since I am paying for it anyway. Anyway some cop pulled me over and asked the 'usual' questions. "License, registration?" Well when he saw my license he started to make a big fuss, " You live in Charleston Circle? As in..." I didn't understand what he was babbling about so I turned to him and said, " I don't know what you're talking about...." and I told him my neighborhood and he walked back to his cop car and I sat their bored. Well on the inside of my car it was pretty warm and was contrasted nicely with cold outside that had frosted my windows moments ago. My thoughts wandered and I was somewhat aware of my surroundings... I thought about how Bryson always said that girls had it easy whenever it came to cops. 'If only I could cry right now.' I mused, chuckling to myself as I looked to my right to see a cop standing just outside my window; I looked further to see that two cop cars were on the scene. 'Wow, the cops in this town are SO bored aren't they. It takes two cops to pull over a speeder and a girl for that matter.' I stared at the cop outside my window and became so curious as to what the heck he was doing just standing around outside my frickin' car. So... I rolled down my window."Umm... excuse me but what are you doing?"
"Oh, just watching you." Something about how he said it creeped me out or maybe it was really what he said, okay maybe both.
"Oh." I said definately creeped out and rolled up my window on his side. I ingored the fact that he was their the rest of the time and bantered with myself in my head about how they had to watch me when they had my lisence and I'm obviously not going to leave. 'Watch out for those fast women.' they were probably thinking or some crap like that anyway I got a ticket after he frickin' took forever and tried to make conversation.
On another topic, the other day I was sitting in a guy friend's car and we were talking about how messed up a situation we were in and I couldn't help but laugh because it was so rediculous that Shakespeare himself couldn't write it better.... anyway, told said guy friend that I'd always liked the tragic side-character/heroine Eponnine better than her counter-part Coesette the Romantic Heroine who marries Marius. Well, needless to say that there was a love triangle between the three of them. Eponnine loves Marius who love Coesette who returns his love; despite knowing that Marius loves another woman, Eponnine daydreams by a riverside about a romantic rendezvous but wakes up from her dreams knowing he doesn't love her. She somehow is strong enough (or weak enough depending on your point of view) that she doesn't care that he doesn't love her and goes to see him on the battlefield disguised as a boy. (This is after she delivers a letter to Coesette.) Well, after Eponnine clims the barracks she finds Marius who scolds her for coming but then discovers that she has been mortally wounded. He holds her as she lays bleeding in his arms, she tells him not to worry about her and insures him that she feels no pain and that all she cares about is that he is there for her in the moment. Marius is grieved that she is dying but can only stay with her until she is "sleeping". I always seemed to relate to her... in Nightwish's 'Swan Heart' it was put something like this... "Never the famous balcony scene, just a dying faith, on a heaven's gate..." Well, I suppose most of you think that I shouldn't be so negative and that I should hope but I'm afraid if I do that that I'll end up like the tin soldier whose heart was left in the ashes... but part of me still dares to hope that something might go right, I just haven't had much luck as of late and I feel painfully inept.