Citadel for the Broken

Okay so I'm not going to post lyrics this time many of you will rejoice I'm sure. Anyway time at Belhaven has caused some change within me... I have many warm acquaintances and some new friends there to speak of, however I haven't forgotten any of my old friends. Leaving any of them completely would cause me pain but at the same time I get the feeling that I might not be able to keep up all of my relationships like I'd want... A guy once told me"Don't take friendship so seriously, because friends come and go. In the end all you have is yourself." I disagreed strongly with him at first but now, I can't help but think that there might be some truth with what he said and at the same time I bitterly disagree with him still.

Well next topic. I was discussing with a friend the other day, the problem of knowing what love is and the problem of love. (When I say problem I don't mean it in the literal way, if you get my meaning) Well, I'm still not terribly sure what love is though I believe I have some clarity. Well what I really have to confess to you guys is that I'm a coward. Yes, you see I was watching a video on youtube, of all places, and thought I was seeing a reflection of myself. The video is about a girl named Amelie and her friend an old painter. The painter sits down and faces a painting of various people, he notes that there is one character in his painting that he can never quite figure out, even after so many years. He notes that this is a girl inside the party, at the very center even but she somehow seems to be so far away from it all. He assess that she is some how different from everyone else. He asks"How different?" Amelie shrugs and says she doesn't know. The painter guesses, "Maybe she's thinking of someone. A young man she saw some place else. A love at first sight." Amelie parallels this to her own life (in her mind) and thinks of a man she met once... the man she calls her "Cinderella boy" The painter continues," She feels they are the same. The two of them." Amelie replies,"But she doesn't even know him." The painter insists that she does "since forever... in her dreams!(Amelie smiles) ...a whisper in her ears... (Okay this bits pretty cheesey) ... the feel of his touch." You see that Amelie begins to search for the man. Amelie finally asks "The boy she met...did she meet him again?" The painter tells her that she did not and Amelie is sad and begins to cry. The painter explains, "I think, she's a bit of a coward. That's why I have trouble with her eyes." The painter looks at Amelie," It's time to take some real risks!" Amelie understands and eventually finds the man... Okay that was a bit long. Well, I guess what I learned was that I have to take risks in relationships in order to get what I want. I don't want the perfect person to pass me by... I have to fight all my cowardice now and face what I have to do.